(The customer has a covered hardware issue. It’s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.)

Me: “I’m going to request that a replacement device be sent to you, free of charge. You should receive your replacement in 2 business days.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to wait 2 business days! You need to make it arrive Friday!”

Me: “I understand your frustration sir, but tomorrow is Wednesday and the second business day is Friday. Thursday is the holiday.”

Customer: “You make it get here Friday!”

Me: “Sir, Wednesday is one business day. Friday is two business days. You will have your replacement on Friday.”

Customer: “Put your supervisor on!”

Supervisor: *after greeting the customer and looking at the details for the replacement* “What can I do for you sir?”

Customer: “That girl’s trying to teach me how to count!”