(A customer is looking at a laptop. I approach to help.)

Me: “That’s a really great computer.”

Customer: “I don’t need a computer. I need wireless internet.”

Me: “Alright, how much range do you need cover?”

Customer, dead serious: “From here to Santa Monica.”

(Note: This is about a distance of ten miles.)

Me: “Alright, let’s start over. This time I’ll be from the future.”