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    Brains Not Included

    | Newton, IA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. This is ***, can I get your account number?”

    Caller: “Well, I don’t have your service. I just have a question.”

    Me: “Okay, what is your question?”

    Caller: “My remote doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that, but we are an internet company and this is internet tech support.”

    Caller: “I know that, but why can’t you help me?”

    Me: “We don’t do anything with TVs.”

    Caller: “It’s not my TV. It’s my remote.”

    Me: “Your remote for your TV?”

    Caller: “No!”

    Me: “Your remote for what?”

    Caller: “My television!”

    Me: “Okay…well, we still can’t help you with that.”

    Caller: “This tech support is stupid! You are all stupid!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

    Caller: “I wouldn’t if you fixed my remote. The buttons aren’t making the television change.”

    Me: “Have you tried changing out the batteries?”

    Caller: “What do you think I am, stupid, like you? Of course I didn’t do that! It would shut the remote off!” *hangs up*