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    ‘Boiled Babies’ Tends To Screw Up Your R√©sum√©

    | Merseyside, UK |

    (My friend worked as a lifeguard in a swimming pool).

    Customer: “This pool is too cold, can’t you see my baby is going blue?!”

    Lifeguard: “I’ll check the temperature for you, but as all the other babies are fine it shouldn’t be too cold.”

    (He takes a temperature reading and it is nearly 35 degrees C/95 degrees F.)

    Customer: “Well, it’s still too cold.”

    Lifeguard: *gives up* “Very well, if you would like to boil a lobster that’s fine by me.”

    (Unfortunately, the customer had no sense of humor and shortly thereafter my lifeguard friend had no job.)