Black & Blue Friday

(I normally avoid Black Friday sales because of the madness that ensues. However, a few years ago, a retailer put a sewing machine on sale and I desperately wanted a new one so I went with my aunt and cousins. Not wanting to be in the way, I put my machine in my cart and moved so that I was well out of the way while my relatives shopped.)

Woman: *rams the back of my legs with her heavily-ladened cart* “Watch it!”

Me: “Excuse you! There was plenty of room for you to get by! Why the h*** did you do that?”

Woman: “I didn’t see you there! You shouldn’t hide like that!”

Me: “I was right in front of you! How could you miss me?”

Woman: “Well, you’re just so short that I didn’t see you!”

Me: “Really? That’s the best excuse you’ve got? Lady, there’s NOTHING blocking your view of me and I’ve got BRIGHT RED HAIR! I’m also wearing a WHITE shirt that has a HUGE Mickey Mouse printed on it! So, how in the world did you NOT see me?”

Woman: *meekly* “I’m so sorry.” *runs off*