Customer: “I need a handbook about cockatiels.”

Me: “Well we have some books on cockatiels right here, what did you need to know?”

Customer: “I think my bird is pregnant. I need to know how to tell if my bird is pregnant.”

Me: “Well this one has information about breeding and hatching eggs.”

Customer: “I guess that will work. Will that tell me how to tell what sex my bird is?”

Related:
Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 2