(My family owns a private facial studio. The recorded message for voicemail where customers leave messages about appointments says that we will return your call within the hour. In this particular case, a message was left at one in the morning, so I call back as soon as I open.)

Caller: *answers phone groggily* “H-hello?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

Caller: “Yeah, you did. F*** you and goodbye.”

Me: *taken aback* “Well, this is [name] from [facial studio], and I’m returning your call about an appointment.”

Caller: “About time, b****. It’s been hours.”

Me: “Haha, well, you did call at one in the morning.”

Caller: “So?”

Me: “So not only was I fast asleep, I wasn’t even at the studio.”

Caller: “Well, you should have been. The only reason women like you work is to serve men like me.”

Me: *irritated* “Oh really? What do you do?”

Caller: “I’m a plumber. I do all the hard work that pansies like you can’t deal with, so when I want a treat, I expect every b**** to get ready for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir.”

Caller: “Eh? Sorry?”

Me: “I only work with polite customers.”

(I could hear his yells and swearing as I hung up the phone.)

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