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    Beware The Old Prune That Prunes

    | Somerset, UKSomerset, UK | Bizarre

    (An elderly lady comes in and tells me she wants to look at flooring. As I’m under strict orders not to leave the tills, I direct her to the flooring while I get a coworker from that department. She walks away and comes back a few minutes later, and we begin to chat idly while waiting for help.)

    Customer: “What’s your name?”

    Me: *smiling and pointing at name tag* “Jasmine.”

    Customer: “Oh, I used to have some jasmines in my garden.”

    Me: “Oh that’s nice!”

    Customer: “I HATED IT! It grew like a weed. I had to chop it all down.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s not good.”

    Customer: “Now, you’d better get me someone RIGHT NOW, or I’ll chop YOU down!”

    Me: “Um, someone’s on their way.”

    (A few minutes later, the coworker who went to talk to her comes up to me to borrow a tape measure for her. I tell him what she said to me.)

    Me: *to coworker* “She said she wants to chop me down like she did her jasmine plants!”

    Coworker: “You know, that’s really weird…when I first went up to her, she said ‘I’m so glad you’re here. I was going to smack her in the face in a minute!’”

    (Finally, as the customer is about to leave, she comes up to me again.)

    Customer: “Well, I’m glad you got your coworker. He was very good.”

    Me: “I’m very pleased about that!”

    Customer: *menacingly* “I’ll let you live…this time.”