(An older man who looks to be in his 80s approaches the counter.)

Me: “Good morning, sir.”

Customer: “I’m not a ‘sir’.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…ma’am?”

Customer: “Are you getting sarcastic with me?”

Me: “No…you’re confusing me.”

Customer: “Have you been in the military?”

Me: “…no. But several of my family members have.”

Customer: “Well, you should. You’d be perfect.” *salutes and leaves*

Coworker: *walking in* “Who was that guy?”

Me: “Sergeant Transvestite?”