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    Bad Grandpa

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a female cashier and recently turned 21. I have worked at this store since I was 17 and am known for being a bit of a goody-goody with the other staff and regulars. A regular customer and I are discussing how much I would love to travel some day, with him telling me about his experiences.)

    Customer #1: “It isn’t so bad. You just backpack it. Go to a town, get a job for a while, and then move on when you’ve saved up again. And most of Europe speaks English, so it’s not like you have to learn every language along the way. Just a few phrases here and there.”

    Me: “I suppose. I guess I’d just be nervous to do it alone, y’know?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, yeah. The whole girl thing. I suppose you wouldn’t want to travel alone?”

    Me: “Yeah. Hostel horror stories, right?”

    Customer #1: “Well, don’t let it stop you. Find a friend or something. A girl friend, if that helps.”

    Me: “Maybe!”

    Customer #1: “Good luck with that! Next time I’m here, I want to hear you’ve bought a one-way plane ticket!”

    Me: “Hah! Yeah, right. Thanks! Have a great night!”

    (As the first customer heads off, the customer after him steps forward. He is a small, elderly man with a shaved head, round frame glasses, gold chains around his neck, large rings and a Hawaiian shirt. He isn’t a regular and I’ve never seen him before.)

    Customer #2: “I heard you talking about travelling around Europe.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. It’ll probably never happen, though.”

    Customer #2: “Yes, yes. Travel can be scary.”

    Me: “And expensive. Maybe after I graduate.”

    Customer #2: “Are you eighteen?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer #2: “Are you eighteen? You said after you graduate. High school?”

    Me: “Oh. No. I’m …yeah.”

    Customer #2: “Well. Perfect. You look so young, I wasn’t sure!”

    (He starts writing his name on the back of a business card. The other side has a generic sounding company name in hot pink, with a woman’s first name, phone number and email address.)

    Customer #2: “My friend, [Name On Business Card], can help you out. She makes good money…” *he winks* “…on the internet.”

    Me: “Oh. That’s. Okay. I’ve got a job.”

    (I start checking faster, feeling suddenly very awkward.)

    Customer #2: “No really! It’s very lucrative. Very discrete.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer #2: “You just tell her that [Customer #2] referred you, okay?”

    (He refuses to leave without putting the card in my hand when I give him the receipt. My bagger hands him his items and the customer leaves. The bagger approaches me as I’m tossing the card in the garbage under my register.)

    Bagger: “Dude, did you just get hit on by a sleazy grandpa?”

    Me: “Actually, I think he was soliciting me to make internet porn.”

    Bagger: “… I can’t decide if that’s worse or not.”