(I’m customer-facing tech support, and I’ve just fixed up a customer’s phone after a few issues she’s been having.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s brilliant! Thank you so much! Oh, and I love your hair! It’s so trendy!”

Me: “Thanks! Well, if you need any more—”

Customer: “Yeah, sort your weight out and you’d be alright looking.”

Me: “Sorry?!”

Customer: “It’s okay, just exercise! Bye!”