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    Avoid This Customer Like The Plague

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a large pet supply store which also sells pet rodents and rabbits. My job includes offering advice and info to those who want to buy a pet.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, are these a kind of hamster?”

    Me: “No sir, those are rats.”

    Customer: “Wild rats?! Are you sure they’re not a kind of long-tailed hamster?”

    Me: “They’re definitely rats. They’re not wild; they’re domestic. They’re also known as ‘fancy rats’.”

    Customer: “Okay, so do they carry the plague, too?”

    (I’m used to this question. It’s always been asked jokingly, so I chuckle.)

    Me: “Nope, no plague. Rats are very clean pets and are actually cleaner than your average pet dog or cat.”

    Customer: “I don’t want disease in my house. Are you sure these aren’t carrying plague?”

    (I realise he is totally serious.)

    Me: “I assure you, these rats are perfectly safe to own.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe you! How do you know?”

    Me: “I actually own several rats and they make really lovely pets. They’re very clever and affectionate.”

    (Suddenly, he becomes very agitated and backs away from me. He covers his mouth by lifting his t-shirt over it, simultaneously revealing an obscene and racist tattoo on his stomach.)

    Me: “Sir, I need you to lower your shirt please…right now.”

    Customer: *loudly so everyone in the store can hear* “She has plague rats in her house! Stay away from her! Oh my God, what the f*** is wrong with you?! Do you want people to get ill?! I’ll kick your a** in for trying to make me ill!”

    (At this point, two burly male colleagues of mine come running from other aisles to help. They make the customer put his shirt back down and try to escort him out of the shop, but he struggles like mad in his bid to ‘warn’ everyone. They have trouble restraining him, despite their height and strength.)

    Customer: “She’s diseased for God’s sake! She has plague rats!”

    (One of my coworkers who has been escorting him out decides he’s had enough and speaks up.)

    Male Coworker #1: “I keep rats too, mate. Now, get out in case I give you the plague too! Don’t come back, either—the plague might be in the air!”

    (At this, the customer freezes and then bolts screaming from the shop. The other customers applaud my coworkers, I get an extra 10 minute break and three nice people gave homes to pairs of rats after wanting to find out more about them!)