College student: “Do you have any stamps?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a library.”

College student: “But I need to buy some stamps.”

Me: “I can’t help you. We don’t sell stamps in the library. You should try the post office in [college building] tomorrow.”

College student: “But I need the stamps now. Can’t I just have some stamps?”

Me: “Listen, libraries don’t sell stamps. The post office will sell you stamps tomorrow morning when it opens. But right now, in this building, I can not sell you stamps.”

College student: “So you’ll sell me stamps tomorrow?”

Me: “Listen, you can’t even mail anything on a Sunday evening. Why don’t you come back later?”

(Not surprisingly, he came back at 8 the next morning demanding stamps.)