(A drunk guest comes down and wants their car but we refuse to give it to him because he is intoxicated. We call him a cab and ask if he needs his house key off his key ring.)

Customer: “Oh, yeah. I might need that.”

Me: “Okay, which one is it?”

Customer: “It’s that black one right there.”

Me: “Sir, that’s your car key. Which one is your house key?”

Customer: “No, really. It’s that black one.”

Me: “No…that’s your car key.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, I made it universal. It opens everything in my house.”

Me: “Okay, I’m just going to give you everything but the car key. Have a nice night, sir.”