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    Asking The Eggs-pert

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (I am serving a table of 4, getting last customer’s order.)

    Me: “How would you like your eggs?”

    Customer: “How do people usually get them?”

    Me: “They get them whatever way they like them prepared.”

    Customer: “Can you name some of the ways?”

    Me: “Sure. Scrambled, sunny side up, over-easy, over-medium, over-well, poached, basted, soft-boiled, hard boiled, I think that’s all of them.”

    Customer: *long silence*

    Me: “Sir, what do the eggs you like best look like?”

    Customer: “Can you give me some examples?”

    Me: “Well, scrambled is yellow and fluffy, sunny side up the yellow is lightly cooked and the white isn’t all the way cooked, over-easy is the white part is all cooked, but the yellow is runny, over-medium is the white is all cooked with the edges a little crisp and the yellow a little thick, over-well is when the whites are cooked and a little brown and the yellow is cooked all the way through and dry.”

    Customer: “Which is the one where you can dip the toast in the yellow but there’s no goopy stuff?”

    Me: “Over-easy is the best option for that.”

    Customer: “That’s the way I like my eggs then.”

    Me: “Did you want me to write that down for you for the next time you go out for breakfast?”

    All of the customer’s friends: *in unison* “Yes, please!”