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    Ask Me Questions, I Tell You Lies

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    (A customer brings in a 20 year old pool cleaner.)

    Customer: “I need you to wet-test this for me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t offer that service. If you like, we can check it in, and bench test it.”

    Customer: “Fine, but I wanna watch what you’re doing. I just had it in here last week, and it’s broken again!”

    Me: “Do you remember who worked on it?”

    Customer: “It was that kid with all those tattoos”

    (One of our employees has a small tattoo on his arm. While he flips out, I find the problem: a part was put in up-side-down.)

    Me: “You sure [name] worked on this?”

    Customer: “Yes! I knew he would mess it up!”

    Me: “Well here is your problem. This part was up side down. Did you install this yourself?

    Customer: “Yes, I bought it here last week! And your guys came to my house last week, he cut off all my pipes, and he ruined my equipment!”

    Me: “Sir, the last service done at your house was 3 months ago…a filter clean.”

    Customer: “You’re not helpful at all!” *leaves*