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    As Long As It’s A Tofu Hat

    | USA | Pets & Animals

    (I am a zookeeper, and am taking care of five lions which are new arrivals. We’ve set up a natural habitat for them and they are ready to be introduced to their new home. I press the button that raises the gate between their cage and the habitat, and they begin to examine their new surroundings. As I do this, I get tapped on the shoulder by a visitor.)

    Visitor: “New arrivals?”

    Me: “Yes, just got here this morning.”

    Visitor: “What do they eat?”

    Me: “Well, meat, of course.”

    Visitor: *nods* “I thought so. Then, I am just in time. We need to protect these poor animals!”

    (The visitor hands me a poster about being a vegetarian. I look at it, and then look back at her.)

    Me: “So these lions should NOT eat meat?”

    Visitor: “No, of course not! There are enough healthy alternatives, as listed on this poster!”

    Me: “I don’t think the lions would agree with that. However, they do eat vegetarians; cows and so on, you know. Nature.”

    Visitor: “Oh, no!” *turns to the lions* “I’ll bring tofu tomorrow, you’ll like it!”

    (As she leaves, a female coworker who has overheard the conversation chimes in.)

    Coworker: “If she can do that, I’ll eat my hat!”