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    Around The World In 80 Epithets

    | Northern VA, USA |

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Well hello dearie, what kind of mild coffee do you have today?”

    Me: “Our light roast today is our Guatemala.”

    Customer: “Oh no. I don’t want coffee made by [racial epithet].”

    Me: “Um… well, our dark roast is our Ethiopian.

    Customer: “I don’t want [another racial epithet] coffee either! Can’t you get me some American coffee?

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, coffee beans don’t grow anywhere in America except Hawaii. And we don’t carry any Kona.”

    Customer: “Damn [yet another racial epithet]! Don’t want any of their coffee either. I just want some good old American coffee. That’s what I got last time.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Like I said, we don’t carry any coffee grown in America. Coffee doesn’t grow in the continental United States.”

    Customer: “God d*** commies!” *storms off*