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  • Appease The Portuguese

    | Johannesburg, South Africa |

    (Note: Many South African liquor stores are owned by Portuguese people.)

    Customer: “Obrigado!” (Speaks in Portuguese.)

    Me: “Sorry sir, I don’t speak Portuguese.”

    Customer: “WHAT! Your family didn’t raise you in this s*** country to forget where we come from!” *guttural swearing in Portuguese*

    Me: “Yes, sir, but-”

    Customer: “WHAT THE F***! Did your daddy run away and leave your mother that you cant speak huh? You’re a half-breed! What you gonna do when this f***ing country goes to s*** and we gotta leave, huh?”

    Me: “Well–”

    Customer: “So do you even THINK of yourself as Portuguese? Or are you ashamed of where you come from or what?”

    Me: “I’m Spanish.”