Named He Who Shall Not Be Named

(We have a substitute teacher for the day who has never had our class. She doesn’t have an official copy of the roll-call, so she sends around a piece of paper for people to sign.)

Teacher: “Excuse me, [My Name]. I was wondering if you could help me. 17 people have signed the roll, but there are only 16 people here. Can you find the name of the person who isn’t here?”

(I look at the roll, and quickly spot the problem.)

Me: “[Teacher], I don’t think that ‘Lord Voldemort’ goes to this class. Or this school…”