Androcles And The Liquor

(We have a difficult customer who comes in every day with his wife. Usually, he is just fine, but if he doesn’t get his coffee exactly right, he throws a huge fit. He’s even made a few coworkers cry from screaming at them.)

Me: “Good morning! How are you doing today?”

Difficult Customer: “Not good. I need my coffee.”

Me: “Yes, sir! Coming right up!”

Difficult Customer: “And, one other thing…”

Me: “…Yes?”

Difficult Customer: “Can I get a shot of whiskey in that?”

Me: “If I could give you coffee and whiskey, I think we would all have a better morning!”