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    And This Was Before He Got Drunk

    | Cardiff, Wales, UK |

    Customer, looking directly at the draught: “What have you got on tap?”

    Me: “We have Stella, Staropramen, Becks Vier, Leffe, Hoegaarden, Franziskaner and Guiness on tap, sir.”

    Customer: *sighs* “Have you got Carling?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not sir…”

    (I run through everything on tap again, slightly slower, and clearer this time.)

    Customer: “No Budweiser?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not sir…”

    (Again I list everything on draught.)

    Customer: “Oh, I suppose I’ll just have a Kronenberg then.”

    Me: “I’m afraid we don’t stock that product, sir.”

    Customer: “Sorry, I meant a Fosters.”

    Me: *deep breath* “I apologise once again sir, but we don’t serve Fosters. We only serve…”

    (I run through the draught again.)

    Customer: “Okay, okay…bloody hell, I’m not stupid you know!”

    Me: “I apologize if I offended you, sir.”

    Customer: “I should think so. Pint of Worthingtons then.”

    Me: “…” *deep breath* “Tom! Your customer!”