November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

And Her Roots Were Blonde

| Terrace, B.C., Canada | Uncategorized

(I’m working a graveyard shift, it’s 3:00 AM, a girl comes in, obviously more than mildly inebriated.)

Customer: “Ummmm… so, I came in here an hour ago, and bought a Pepsi, and I like, took a drink of it just now, there was like, a hair in the Pepsi. Can I get another one for free?”

Me: “Do you mean there was a hair in the bottle when you drank it?”

Customer: “No, um, like, I took a drink, and one of my hairs got in my mouth at the same time, and I guess I bit it off and drank it too, and that was really gross so I like, threw the Pepsi away.”

Me: “So you swallowed your own hair, and you want me to pay for your Pepsi to make up for it?”

Customer: “Exactly! I’m sooooo glad you understand me!”

Me: “Um, no. You’re gonna have to pay, actually.”

Customer: “Aww, I knew that wouldn’t work. I /told/ him that wouldn’t work. He like, told me I was cute enough that you’d give me free stuff, but I knew it wouldn’t work. Oh well, I’ll pay, I guess!”

(She goes to the cooler and starts tapping on the lids of various bottles with her finger, before deciding on one half-way back on the rack, requiring her to take a dozen bottles off before getting to hers, and coming to the counter with it, leaving the rest on the floor.)

Me: “Um… what were you doing?”

Customer: “Checking for a fresh one! They like, sound different! You work here, you should totally know that! You’re not very good at your job, are you?”

On The Bright Side, She Never Gets Brain Freezes