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    An Open And Shut Case

    | Spokane, Washington, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is a hot day after closing time. I am, sweeping up with the drive-thru windows open, and a customer drives up.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, are you still open?”

    Me: “No, sorry, we closed at six. I’m just finishing up to go home.”

    Customer: “So you can’t make me a coffee?”

    Me: “Sorry, no, I already turned off everything and cleaned all the machines.”

    Customer: “But your windows are open.”

    Me: “Yeah, It’s pretty hot in here, so I left them–”

    Customer: “If your windows are open, it means you are open! You shouldn’t leave the windows open! It confuses people, and I think you should make me a coffee!”

    Me: “Well, I can see how you might be confused, and I’m sorry. I turned off all the ‘open’ signs, and our hours are posted. We close at six, so we’re closed.”

    Customer: “You’re windows are open! Make me a f***ing coffee now!”

    Me: “Sorry, I can’t. Everything is turned off! Do you want an Italian soda, or maybe a muffin?”

    Customer: “You can sell me a muffin when you’re closed?”

    Me: “Well, yeah. I don’t need the machines to give you a muffin. What kind do you want?”

    Customer: “I don’t want your f***ing muffin! You are deliberately withholding coffee from me! I am an American! You are violating my rights!” *customer proceeds to scream racial and sexist slurs at me*

    Me: “Oh, gosh, you know what?”

    Customer: “What?”

    (I slam the window shut, and yell through the glass.)

    Me: “Sorry! My window’s shut! We must be closed!”