(I am at a New Year’s Eve party.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yes, I need to replace someone’s drink. I accidentally spilt it.”

(As it is only a small drink, I gave it to him without charge.)

Customer #2: *to me* “How much of an idiot do you have to be to spill someone’s drink?!”

(Customer#2 orders various drinks, but there are 2 expensive bottles of wine and mixer drinks with at least 3 shots of various spirits in.)

Me: “All together that will be £50.”

Customer #2: “No problem, but seriously can you imagine if I was as stupid as him and spilled these!”

(Customer #2 turns with tray of drinks to return to his friends. As he does, he drops the entire tray, smashing the wine bottles and the other drinks all over the floor.)

Customer #2: “I guess I deserved that. Don’t suppose I could have free replacements?”

(The guy bought another round, as well as two more drinks, one for me and one for the guy he had been joking about.)