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  • An Abundance Of Nuttiness

    | Pompano Beach, FL, USA | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [grocery store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I bought peanut butter! Now I don’t know what to do with it.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You had peanut butter on sale–buy two, get one free. I bought the two and got one free, and now I have nothing to do with it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not the fault of the store.

    Customer: “What do I do with it?!”

    Me: “Put it on a sandwich?”

    Customer: “Do you know how many calories are in two tablespoons of peanut butter? 200! 200 calories!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I don’t really know what to do with your peanut butter.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! If you don’t tell me what to do with it right now, I’m going to complain to your manager and have you fired!”

    Me: “Ma’am–”

    Customer: “What do I do with the peanut butter?!”

    Me: “I don’t know, make cookies with it? Give a jar to a friend? Donate to a homeless shelter?”

    Customer: “Are you crazy?! I paid good money for this stuff. I’m not going to just give it away. YOU. ARE. AN. IDIOT!”