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    All Smoke Where There Is No Fire

    | Madison, WI, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

    (I volunteer as an EMT. This was one of the first calls I respond to.)

    Caller: “Please help! I can’t breathe!”

    Operator: “Yes, ma’am. Are you having an asthma attack?”

    Caller: “No, but I am about to! Those neighbors are frying chicken and the smoke is really bothering me! I can’t breathe! Please help!”

    Operator: “Okay, please go outside to get some air. We will dispatch an EMT crew to you.”

    (When we arrive, we discover the caller on her deck with a LIT CIGARETTE in her mouth, pacing back and forth.)

    Caller: “Finally! Someone to help me! I can’t breathe because of the horrible chicken smoke!”

    (The caller was taken to the ER for a check-up but, she was fine. Later I was told that she does this little trick often because she gets bored just sitting at home.)