All Smoke, No Mirrors

(A guest I checked in less than two hours ago is walking up to the front desk with all her luggage, ready to leave.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Guest: “I want to check out!”

Me: “Is everything all right? I see you are checking out early.”

Guest: “I don’t want to talk about it; I want a receipt stating that I have a zero balance.”

Me: “All right, one moment. Let me get your receipt out of the back. My printer is down.”

(I come back a few seconds later with her receipt.)

Me: “Are you sure everything is all right? You seem upset and I don’t want you leaving upset.”

Guest: “Yes, actually, you can tell your people I do not appreciate them recording me while I am sleeping!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Guest: “There was a little red light flashing above my bed!”

Me: “Oh! You mean the smoke detector. That isn’t a recording device.”

Guest: “You don’t think I know the difference between a smoke detector and a recording device?! I know that if there is a blinking red that means the camera is on and recording! So please delete any footage you have of me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. I promise you we do not have recording devices in our guests rooms. It honestly was a smoke detector.”

Guest: “IT WAS NOT A SMOKE DETECTOR!”