(My boss is a realtor; she has sign toppers for various occasions. This one happened to be for the Christmas season: “Home for the Holidays”.)

Customer: “I’m calling about the ‘Home for the Holidays’ house.”

Me: “Sure, what’s the address?”

(She reads it to me.)

Me: “Okay, how can I help you?”

Customer: “When can I move in?”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m sorry–do you mean you want to write an offer for the house?”

Customer: “No, it says ‘Home for the Holidays.’ I want to move in before Christmas.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. We’re not giving the house away, we’re selling it.”

Customer: “Well I can’t afford a house!” *click*