Me: “Thank you for calling tech support, how may I help you?”

Caller: “My talk commands aren’t working on my computer.”

Me: “Your speech commands? Well, tell me what’s the problem.”

Caller: “I keep telling my computer to turn on, but it won’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the speech commands only work if the computer is already on.”

Caller: “Then what’s the point of them?”

Me: “They make things easier once the computer is on.”

Caller: “How do I get my computer on if it won’t listen?!”

Me: “Just turn it on like normal.”

Caller: “I don’t want to! That’s why I enabled the godd**n speech commands!” *click*