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    All Quiet On The Modern Front

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling tech support, how may I help you?”

    Caller: “My talk commands aren’t working on my computer.”

    Me: “Your speech commands? Well, tell me what’s the problem.”

    Caller: “I keep telling my computer to turn on, but it won’t.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the speech commands only work if the computer is already on.”

    Caller: “Then what’s the point of them?”

    Me: “They make things easier once the computer is on.”

    Caller: “How do I get my computer on if it won’t listen?!”

    Me: “Just turn it on like normal.”

    Caller: “I don’t want to! That’s why I enabled the godd**n speech commands!” *click*