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    A.I.: Alarming Idiocy

    | Burbank, IL, USA |

    (I pick up a phone call transferred from our operator and hear what’s clearly a kid on the phone with parents in the background.)

    Me: “Thanks for calling Burbank ****, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, my video game system stopped working. I want you to fix it.”

    Me: “Well, what seems to be the problem with the system?”

    Customer: “There’s red lights on it – is that those ‘rings of death’?”

    Me: “The red lights are kind of an error message – when did purchase the system?”

    Customer: “It’s like a year old.”

    Me: “Did you purchase our protection plan?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “OK, you’d have to contact Customer Service for that manufacturer to see if they would still cover the product.”

    Customer: “Oh, I bought it at ****.” *naming our competitor* “Would I call them? Could they fix it? I don’t want to talk to the robots!”

    Me: “Yeah, if you bought it at another retailer you should probably either contact them or the manufacturer–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “I said no robots; I don’t want to talk to the robots!”

    Me: “OK…you can file a claim on the manufacturer’s website, or call the retailer you actually purchased the system from. There’s nothing I can really do for you if you didn’t purchase it through our store.”

    Customer: *whining* “I don’t want to talk to the robots! I’ll have my mom call the robots.” *hangs up*

    Me: “…”