(A group of students come into the bar dressed as cavemen, complete with wigs and squeaky plastic clubs.)

Caveman 1, banging squeaky club on bar: “Ugg!”

Me: *stares at him in disbelief*

Caveman 1: “Ugg! Ugg!” *bang* *squeak*

Me: *still maintaining silence*

Caveman 2: “Are we getting service here or not?!” *bang* *squeak*

(A crescendo of grunting student cavemen start to bang each other on the heads with the squeaky clubs and proceed to upset the other punters.)

Me: “Right, that’s enough! You’re not getting f-ugg-ing served and you’re all f-ugg-ing barred!”

(The cavemen left only to be replaced by a group of student girls dressed as nuns. They all got a free drink.)