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    Aging Badly

    | Exeter, England, UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a cinema. One evening on my break, I see my husband’s 13-year-old cousin hanging around outside. I have a feeling that she’s trying to get into a 15-rated film, so when I go back on shift, I tell everybody else I know she’s under 15. She eventually goes to my manager’s till, so I go over.)

    Me: “Don’t sell her a ticket to Silent Hill. She’s my husband’s cousin; I know she’s 13.”

    Manager: “Okay, thanks.”

    (My cousin approaches. She doesn’t seem to recognize me.)

    Cousin: “I’d like tickets for Silent Hill, please.”

    Manager: “I’m afraid you cannot get a ticket for the film. You are not over 15.”

    Cousin: “What the f***?! I’m f****** 15; don’t f****** listen to her! What the f*** does she know? I want to watch the f****** film!”

    Manager: “You’re not old enough to watch it; we know you’re not. Can you move to the side, so I can serve someone else?”

    Cousin: “F*** you! You don’t know s***! I’m watching the f****** film!”

    (My manager goes to my cousin’s friends, who are waiting to the side.)

    Manager: “I’m happy for you guys to watch the film; you’ve got your ID with you, so it’s fine. Your friend can’t watch the film because she’s not old enough.” *to my husband’s cousin* “I’m asking you to leave, and to stop swearing.”

    Cousin: “I’m not f****** swearing!”

    Manager: “Or I can call the police to have you removed? Choice is yours.”

    (She hasn’t stepped foot in the cinema since. That Christmas, she came round to my husband’s parents’ house while we were there. As soon as she saw me, she practically fled the room, because the penny finally dropped!)