(I am dealing with a bratty 15-year-old girl, who’s dissatisfied with her caricature that my coworker drew of her. She’s obnoxiously making a big scene in front of a crowd.)

Me: “We can have another artist redraw it for you if you’d like.”

Girl: “Whatever! You are all just jealous because you’re old!”

Me: “Well, you’ll be our age someday.”

Girl: “Not if I die young!”

Me: *placidly* “We can only hope.”