Me: “How can I help you?”

Old Woman: “Well?”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Old Woman: “Are they here?”

Me: “Are what here? Glasses? Contacts?”

Old Woman: “MY GLASSES GOD D**N IT!”

Me: “I’ll be happy to check. What is your last name?”

Old Woman: “Dorothy.”

Me: “Dorothy is your LAST name?”

Old Woman: “Dorothy.”

Me: “And your first name?”

Old Woman: “Dorothy.”

Me: “Okay, so your name is Dorothy Dorothy. Got it.”