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    After Sickness It Is Best To Re-coupon-ate

    | Albany, NY, USA | Top

    (The customer hands me a coupon that has been expired for five months.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This coupon expired back in June.”

    Customer: “I know. I was diagnosed with cancer and I went to Europe for four months for experimental treatment.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. I do hope your health is improving. Unfortunately, I still can’t accept this coupon. Even if it wasn’t expired, it can’t be used on sale items.”

    Customer: “This is a load of s***! You’re going to penalize me for having cancer?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. There is nothing I can do.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that crap. I’m going to call my lawyer. You can’t discriminate against me because I have cancer.”

    Me: “Sir, there is nothing I can do. The system won’t allow me to override sales.”

    Customer: “Let me speak to [name of manager].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. He’s not in today. I can call another manager.”

    Customer: “I know he’s here! You’re just not telling me because he’ll make you give me the discount. I am not leaving until I speak to him.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but [manager] is not here today. Five months ago, they discovered he had a brain tumor. When they operated on him, it caused a brain bleed and he had a stroke.”

    *awkward silence*

    Customers wife: “Well, I bet you feel like an a** now! Trying to use cancer as an excuse!”