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    Adamant, If A Bit Addled

    | Cartersville, GA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I’m a fuel clerk at a large chain grocery store’s gas station. One evening a morbidly obese redneck woman was having trouble getting her pump to work. She wanted to get a fuel injection cleaner (additech) added into her gasoline, but had no clue what she was doing. After swiping a credit card, the pump’s computer screen automatically asks the customer if they want to buy additech. The conversation went like this.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you doing today?”

    Customer: *mouth full of tobacco* “I wanna get some of that Additech stuff!”

    Me: “Alright, after swiping your card the pump will ask if you want to purchase Additech. Press ‘Yes.’ Since you are driving a truck, you will select the $9.99 price by pressing the ’2′ key on the screen.”

    Customer: “I wanna get me some of that Additech stuff!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am. Please just swipe your card and follow the prompts.”

    Customer: “I WANNA GET SOME F***ING ADDITECH STUFF!” *spits out a glob of tobacco* “Why the f*** won’t you get me some of that f***ing Additech stuff?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please calm down. Would you like me to show you how?”

    (Frustrated, the customer begins yelling to the other customers in line.)

    Customer: “I’m not retarded! He said I’m retarded!”

    Me: “Ma’am, let me show you.”

    (I walk out to the pump, swipe her card, and as predicted the Additech screen comes up. I set her pump up, and she fills her truck. Afterwards, I come back to my register. A minute later, Ms. Additech comes back.)

    Customer: “What is Additech anyway? DOES IT MAKE YOUR CAR GO BETTER?!”