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    Acting Rashly

    | Northampton, MA, USA |

    Me: “Hi, this is [college] help desk. What can I do for you?

    Caller: *sobbing* “You have got to help me!”

    Me: “Okay, miss. What seems to be the problem?”

    Caller: “I have this huge rash all over my butt!”

    Me: “Miss, you do realize this is a tech help desk…like, for computers?”

    Caller: “But I don’t know who else to call!”

    Me: “Well, you could try health services. I can get you the number.”

    Caller: “No, I already called them.”

    Me: “And they couldn’t help you?”

    Caller: “They wanted me to come in! But I don’t want people to know. Can’t you just tell me how to get rid of it?”

    Me: “Miss, I honestly have no idea. I’ve never had your…problem.”

    Caller: “What about your friends?”

    Me: “Well, none that I know of.”

    Caller: “Oh my God, I AM a freak!” *hangs up while still sobbing*