Not Quite Married To The Idea

(A customer who comes in a few times a week always says hi to me. He’s more than twice my age. One day, he suddenly makes a beeline towards me, staring straight at my left hand.)

Customer: “You’re not married!”

Me: “Uh… no.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “…I don’t want to be?”

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t want to be either. But I can’t believe you aren’t!”

Me: “Uh… thanks, I guess.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “I meant it as a compliment.”

Me: “It’s okay, I know what you mean.”

Customer: “So, if you’re not seeing anyone, maybe I could take you to lunch?”

Me: “No thanks.”

(Thankfully he accepts this politely. Three weeks later I see him again.)

Customer: “I’d like to pick up [item].”

Me: “We don’t have it here, but I can order it for you to pick up this weekend.”

Customer: “I won’t be here this weekend.”

Me: “Oh, going on vacation?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m visiting my fiancé.”

Me: *speechless*