Abandon All Mope Ye Who Enter Here

(I’m a 21-year-old girl at work and feeling a bit sad, having broken up with my long-term boyfriend earlier in the week. One of our regular customers, who is 24, is standing around talking to me and my female coworker. Another regular customer, a lovely elderly German man who we call ‘Dante’ because of his favourite game, comes in shortly afterwards.)

Me: *to Dante* “Hello! How’s Dante’s Inferno going?”

Dante: “Oh, it’s just great! I love it. But I’ve been playing some other games lately…”

(He goes on to tell us what he’s been up to. The young customer joins the conversation, too. Once Dante has finished telling us what games he’s playing, he turns to the young customer.)

Dante: “So, why do you hang around here, young man? I hope you’re not troubling these lovely girls.”

Young Customer: “Nah, I just hang around and talk, really.”

Dante: “Ahh, I see. You like one of these girls, huh? I know you do!”

Young Customer: *laughs and turns red* “How do you know that?”

Dante: “Well, if you come in every day just to chat, you must not have a girlfriend.” *turns to me* “Darling, are you single?”

Me: “Umm, yeah. I am.”

Dante: “You two should get together! You’re nice and he’s nice…” *turns back to the young customer* “…and you’d get free games!”

Young Customer: “Oh, I dunno. She probably wouldn’t give me free games.”

Dante: “Yes, she would! You’d be her boyfriend. She’d have to!” *turns to me and steps closer, talking softly in my ear* “Just think about it, yes? He’s a good boy. He’d be lucky to have a girl like you!”

Me: *grinning ear-to-ear* “Thanks, I’ll think about it!”

(Two months later, I realised how much of a ‘good boy’ the young customer really was, and it turned out that he’d had a crush on me for a while. We’ve been seeing each other for 8 months now, and a few weeks ago I ran into Dante at a local coffee shop. When I told him he’d been right about us, he was over the moon!)