Tourist: “Are you from here?”

Me: “Yes.”

Tourist: “We are here to see the whales.”

Me: “Oh, that sounds exciting.”

Tourist: “So is there some little place known only to locals where you can watch the whales lay their eggs?”

Me: *trying not to die laughing* “Um…yes there is, but we really aren’t supposed to tell the tourists.”

Tourist: “Come on, please? We’ve come a long way. There’s big tip in it for you.”

Me: “Well, okay. If you go down to the beach around 2am, make really loud whale calls and wave your arms around, it will make them feel welcome. They will swim up to you, dig a hole in the sand with their fins and lay their eggs.”

(I always wondered if she went.)