Caller: “I have been asked to send in documents to get this loan. I want to know if I can have it or not.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll go and find out for you…”

(I pull up the caller’s account and look at the documents he sent in: the passport was hand drawn. It even had a stick man where the photo should be.)

Me: “Sir your loan has been rejected due to your documents being…uh…tampered with.”

Caller: *hangs up*