A Squeaky Clean Record

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Top

(The junior college near my grocery store has some guy who makes very good fake IDs. After a couple of months, we’ve become adept at spotting them. One night, a young customer tries to pass one on me.)

Me: “Wow, this is a really good fake.”

(The customer’s eyes go wide and she squeaks in terror.)

Me: “How old are you, really?”

Customer: *squeaks again*

Me: “Sorry, say again?”

Customer: “Seventeen?”

Me: “Wow, that’s crazy. But this is a really good fake. How much did you pay for this?”

Customer: *squeaks*

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Customer: “Two fifty?”

Me: “You paid two hundred and fifty dollars for this?”

Customer: *squeaks*

Me: “Well, I feel kinda bad that you’re losing all that money, so I’m not gonna call the police. However, I have to confiscate your ID, okay?”

Customer: *squeaks*

Me: “You have a nice night now.”

Customer: *squeaks one last time and runs from the store*