Death Becomes Her… Maybe

(It’s a few weeks before Christmas, and I am helping my parents sort out their Christmas cards for mailing. They are in their mid-fifties, and their friends have begun to pass away, so they are starting to have conversations that with “So-and-so just died…” My stepfather keeps meticulous records for Christmas card recipients and their addresses, and we are going through his spreadsheet, trying to determine who makes the final cut for receiving a card.)

Stepfather: “[Husband and Wife] [Last Name].”

Mother: “Didn’t [Wife] die this year?”

Stepfather: “I don’t know… Was it on Facebook?”

Mother: “I don’t know. I never use my Facebook!”

Stepfather: “We should really figure this out before we send a card. Otherwise, he’ll be upset that we addressed a card to his dead wife.”

(After much deliberation – and no actual checking of Facebook – they determine that they have the wife mixed up with someone else who had actually died, and Husband and Wife are sent a card. The Christmas cards from other people begin trickling in, and my parents receive a card with recent photos of a couple with familiar names.)

Me: “Got a card from [Husband and Wife] [Last Name]. Looks like she didn’t die after all!”