(The customer has a standard flip phone that she wants to program.)

Me: “Ok, let’s try the automated system first, and if that doesn’t work, we will do it manually. Please dial *228, press send, and when the automated voice comes on, press 1.”

(In the background, I can hear the customer dialing, and the voice coming on. No response from the customer.)

Me: “Just press the button on your keypad that has the number ‘1’ on it, then some music will start.”

Customer: “Ok, now, how do I press ‘1’?”

Me: “Just press the button marked ‘1’”.”

Customer: “No! I know there’s a button marked ‘1’. What I’m asking is how do I press it?”