(During the lunch rush I am making fries. Since I am pregnant and the salt makes my hands swell, I take off my wedding ring.)

Me: “Here are your fries, sir! Hot out of the fryer.”

Customer: “Thanks girl, you’re pretty sweet. I’d ask you out if you weren’t so fat.”

Me: “Thank you for the compliment, but I am not fat. I’m pregnant.”

Customer: “What?! You aren’t pregnant. You’re just being prude.”

Me: “I highly doubt my husband would agree with you.”

(I take the ring out of my pocket briefly to show him.)

Customer: “If you’re married, why don’t you wear your ring? You looking around for a new man? Because I might be available after you lose weight.”

Me: “No, sir. I’m currently not wearing my ring because the salt makes my hands swell up and it cuts off circulation.”

Customer: “Don’t be stupid! Salt only makes girls swollen when they’re pregnant!”

(I nod at him slowly and he frowns, realizing what just happened.)

Customer: “Well… you’re not that pretty anyway!”