Open Pillow Talk

(My boyfriend has at least four pillows on his bed: two for his head, one to put between his legs, and one to ‘cuddle’ with. When I come over, I use two of those pillows, leaving him without his snuggling one and the leg one. He’s stated in the past that this is okay because then he can cuddle with me. We are talking about my upcoming visit…)

Me: “I can’t wait to be with you.”

Boyfriend: “Can I be honest for a minute here? I kinda like it when you’re not. Then I get all four pillows.”

Me: “Seriously?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I miss those pillows.”

Me: “Why don’t we just buy you a body sized pillow? Then you can do what you want with it.”

Boyfriend: “It would be bad. I’d wake up to find I was doing stuff to the pillow.”

Me: “Whatever. Just buy the d*** pillow. I’ll even buy it for you if it’ll let me have the other two.”

Boyfriend: “So what you’re telling me is that I can have an inappropriate pillow?”

Me: “Yes. It’s not like you’re going to use it when I’m there.”

Boyfriend: “Oh, my god. You’re letting me have an inappropriate pillow. This is so going up on Facebook!”