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    A Large Order Of Lazy With A Side Order Of Crazy

    | Levittown, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It is the Friday before Christmas. Our restaurant has received a large amount of catering orders for office parties. A customer orders 50 breaded wings to be delivered at lunch time. About an hour after the food is sent, the customer calls back.)

    Customer: “This is [name], from [company]. I’m calling about our lunch order.”

    Me: “Okay, I see here in our system that you received your food about an hour ago. Was there an issue with the food?”

    Customer: “Yes there was!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. What exactly was the problem?”

    Customer: “THE SAUCE WAS ON THE SIDE!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “The d*** sauce for the wings was on the side, not on the wings! This is disgusting!”

    Me: “Well, I’m so sorry that you weren’t satisfied. However, with breaded wings our restaurant always puts the sauce on the side. If we had put the sauce on top of the wings, by the time you received them, the breading would have been soggy and mushy. Unless you had specifically asked for the sauce to be on the wings, we had no way to know that is how you wanted them.”

    Customer: “This is a disgrace! I’m so disgusted with you. Your chef needs to be fired immediately! I’m absolutely humiliated in front of my employees. You’ve caused me to lose their respect, and I’m so disgusted that I wasn’t even able to eat my own lunch. This is absolutely absurd. I’ve ordered these wings a hundred times from [other restaurant], and they’ve NEVER done anything so horrible to me!”

    (The other restaurant she mentioned is actually our sister restaurant. The names are different, but the same man owns the business, their recipes are identical, and the managers of the two separate restaurants are brothers.)

    Me: “Well, I know for a fact that they sell their wings in exactly the same format.”

    Customer: “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME YOU B****! I’VE BEEN A CUSTOMER THERE FOR YEARS; THEY DO NOT! [Owner] would never do that to me!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, [owner] is the brother of my boss. The two restaurants are owned by their older brother, and the recipes are identical. In fact, I’m guessing the reason you called us is because you couldn’t get through to that restaurant?”

    Customer: “Y-yes, how did you know that?”

    Me: “Because they are currently closed for renovation. In fact, [other restaurant's owner] is standing about ten feet away from me. Would you like me to get him on the phone? I’m sure he’d be more than happy to explain his own standards to you!”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you; you’re a lying little b****! Don’t think you’ve heard the last of me!”

    (The customer calls back a few hours later. My boss has a nearly identical conversation with her. When he finally hangs up, he tells me we have lost a customer. Somehow, he doesn’t seem terribly broken up.)