A Lack Of Branding Understanding

(I’ve just finished ringing up a whole shopping cart’s worth of groceries for a customer. As usual, I tell her the total and ask if she has any coupons. She hands me a stack of over 20 of them. When the first one doesn’t scan as valid, I start checking her bags to see why the system isn’t recognizing the coupon.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t see the [Yogurt Brand #1] yogurt that’s here on this coupon. You only bought the [Yogurt Brand #2]. Is that right?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “Okay, because the coupon is only valid for [Yogurt #1]. Sorry.” *handing it back to her*

Customer: “Yeah, I know, but I don’t like [Yogurt #1]. I like [Yogurt #2].”

Me: “Well, then unfortunately, you won’t be able to use this coupon. Sorry.” *still trying to hand it back to her*

Customer: “Excuse me? Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Umm… well, because you can’t apply one company’s coupon to another company’s product.”

Customer: “But yogurt is yogurt. Why do you care which one I buy?”

Me: “I don’t, but the [Yogurt #1] company won’t reimburse the store for a discount on [Yogurt #2]’s goods. It’s only for that one specific brand, not for yogurt in general.”

Customer: “But I don’t like [Yogurt #1] and I shouldn’t have to pay more just to get the [Yogurt #2] that I like. Just apply the damn coupon already and stop trying to be a coupon Nazi!”

(At this point, I give up and call over the front-end supervisor. I explain the situation and he takes a look at the coupon. He tells her the same thing I did and she starts throwing a hissy fit about not liking Yogurt #1.)

Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am, please stay calm. It’s only 60 cents, so I’ll apply the discount manually, but please remember next time to either purchase the brand of yogurt on the coupon or just buy the brand you like without a coupon.”

Customer: “Finally! Was that so hard?!”

(The supervisor walks away and I start scanning the rest of her coupons. The very next one gives me the same error. A chill goes down my spine, dreading the answer to my next question.)

Me: “Ma’am, did you buy [Cereal Brand #1]? I only see [Cereal Brand #2] on your receipt.”

Customer: “But I don’t like [Cereal #2], so give me the discount on [Cereal #1] instead.”

(Silently appalled, I glare down at the half-inch-thick stack of coupons she gave me.)

Me: “Do… do ANY of these coupons match the brand you bought, ma’am?”

Customer: “I doubt it. I hate those mainstream brands of food. Too many preservatives and glutens. But who cares what I buy? Stop being a coupon Nazi!”

(I call over the supervisor again. He refuses to give any more discounts on her unmatched coupons and hands the stack back to her. Out of nowhere, she smacks his hand away, making the coupons fly all over the floor.)

Customer: “Well, fine. Then f*** you and f*** your store and f*** all you stupid f****** coupon Nazis! Nazis, Nazis, Nazis!”

(She storms away and out the door, leaving her groceries. Everyone at the registers watches her through the windows barking ‘Nazis!’ at every person she passes in the parking lot. Meanwhile, the next customer is picking up the coupons that the woman scattered on the floor in front of him. He hands them to me in two stacks.)

Customer #2: “Here you go. You can take the small pile and put them somewhere. But the bigger pile is stuff I actually have in my cart to buy today, so I’ll be using those coupons.” *faces out the window* “Thank you, crazy coupon lady!”