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    A Garden Needs A Good Offence

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Home Improvement

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have a ques—oh.”

    (She folds her arms, and eyes me critically.)

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Well, I doubt you would know. You look awfully young.”

    (I am 21, but look younger.)

    Me: “I’m older than I look. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “No, I really don’t think you would know. You look like a d*** little kid!”

    (I raise my eyebrows and stare at her.)

    Customer: “I guess that was a little rude, huh.”

    Me: “More than a little. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Like I said, I doubt it. I like that pink plant over there, but I don’t know anything about it.”

    (I rattle off the plant’s name, sun preference, average height and width, and how often to water and fertilize it.)

    Customer: “Huh! You did know all about it! I just seem to keep offending people today; every time I open my mouth!”

    Me: “Maybe try keeping it shut.”